Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

You found a love potion, and your friend tried to use it on an attractive popular girl, but he accidentally dropped it on the neighbors dog. Now the dog won't stop following him. How would you help him?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I can count

Why do some people dislike Gilmore girls?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t cotton to rapists

I actually pay taxes

What is the impact of being stereotyped as poor on an individual's life? How does it make them feel?

I can read

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

What are some photos of female sexual organs?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

What is your secret to glowing skin?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Why do I feel sleepy after massage?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

How do you write lyrics for a song that resonates with listeners?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What seemingly minor decision or moment in your past ended up having a massive impact on your entire life trajectory?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

What do porn stars do when they get old?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Why do men like low maintenance women?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

What does it feel like wearing tights?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t buy bullshit

How did the DMK alliance manage to keep the BJP out of Tamil Nadu politics all these years? Is the picture now changing in Tamil Nadu after the entry of Annamalai?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

What is the most heartbreaking or sad love story that you ever had (experienced)?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Why does my crush always looks at me in a sad way whenever I talk with other boys, and if he catch me staring on him then he go and flirt with other girls and then check if I am looking at him?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

What is price of the "liberal celebrities" e.g. Bill Maher, Seth Meyers, Jon Stewart, Trevor Noah, Jimmy Kimmel, Desi Lydic etc. to join the great MAGA movement like Stephen Colbert who wanted to European ambassadorship to turn back on "the Left"?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability